


Apathetic

by AceDetective



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Apathetic!Logan, Apathy Logan, Apathy!Logan, Dark Side!Logan, Gen, I actually excluded Virgil from something I wrote?, Origin Stories, Somewhere around there, They're probably around 12??, Virgil and Deceit are mentioned but never really shown, what?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-05-20 22:29:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceDetective/pseuds/AceDetective
Summary: At first, Logan Sanders wasn't Logic. He was Apathy.





	1. Chapter 1

Apathy woke up to the sound of someone banging their fist on his bedroom door. He sat up in bed, feeling strange. His chest felt heavy, which he considered odd, he was in perfect health. The strange sensation developed the day prior. He noticed it after Deceit scolded at him for his mistreatment of Anxiety. Perhaps he was ill?

“Apathy open up already!” the voice outside the door demanded.

“Now Roman, there’s no need to shout,” a calmer voice reprimanded the first. “Apathy, please open the door.”

Roman? One of the Light Sides went by Roman. The idiotic duo ran around the mindscape as if they ran it! They encouraged Thomas to partake in senseless emotions and whimsical make-believe. What business did they have in this part of the mindscape? This part belonged to the Dark Sides, not the Light Sides.

Apathy grabbed his glasses from his bedside table and put them on. He swung his legs over the side of his bed and answered his door. The door opened it to reveal the two Light Sides, clad in their pajamas. He didn’t understand that. He never understood them and their fleeting emotions.

“What do you need?”

“Why are you here?” Roman glared at him.

Apathy noticed the sword clenched in Roman’s hands. He raised his eyebrow and leaned against the door-frame. He doubted Roman had the gall to use the sword and risk harm befalling Thomas.

“This is my room. Ergo, I belong here,” Apathy spoke, void of emotion. “You do not.”

He didn’t care. He wanted to sleep for a while longer. A Saturday meant no need to wake so early. Thomas woke early to view his silly cartoons, but Apathy took no interest in them. Apathy helped Thomas get through the school day to prevent bullies from hurting him. On the weekends, there was no reason for Apathy to put in any effort.

“Well, here’s the thing, kiddo . . . You’re on our side of the mindscape,” Patton spoke gently as if to ease Apathy.

Apathy blinked. He leaned forward and looked beyond the two Sides. Apathy saw walls bright with color, far unlike the ones of the Dark Sides home.

“It appears so . . .” he shrugged. “Is that all?”

Apathy knew what it meant. Deceit no longer hid him from Thomas. He wondered how the change would affect his influence if it would grow stronger, or weaker. Given Thomas’ tendency to express excessive emotions, he may reject Apathy's presence.

“What did you do to get sent here?” Roman asked, genuine interest behind his hate.

Apathy shrugged, “Anxiety wouldn’t cease his unneeded panic, so I locked him in my closet until he calmed.”

Roman’s expression darkened and he stepped between Patton and Apathy. He narrowed his eyes and stared down Apathy, the latter’s eyes dull with disinterest.

“You will not do that to either of us,” Roman growled.

Despite what other Sides thought, Roman wasn’t stupid. He knew their rooms could have drastic influences on each other. Anxiety was a villain, but he didn’t deserve what Apathy did. For emotion-based Sides, prolonged exposure to Apathy’s room could drain them of their trait and put Thomas in danger.

Apathy pushed off the door-frame and rolled his shoulders, “Don’t bug me with your useless emotions.”

He stepped back into the room and slammed the door in their faces. He sat down at his bed and his mind drifted back to the day before. Deceit had picked up Anxiety’s motionless form with such care and cradled him close as he left. Deceit only to return minutes later, only without Anxiety.  Deceit had stood in the doorway to escape the influence and yelled at Apathy until his voice was hoarse.

Apathy clutched his chest as pain shot through him. He let out a pained gasp and gripped the edge of his bed with his free hand. It hurt so bad, like something squeezed his heart. What was this? He never experienced such a phenomenon before. Apathy would remember this much pain.

The pain never ceased, but it dulled enough for him to move again. Whatever gripped his heart loosened its hold but remained as a constant threat. He refused to acknowledge the fear as it crept into his mind and he decided to consult his library later. He didn’t feel emotions and fear was not excluded from that fact. He was Thomas’ Apathy. He wasn’t afraid.

He walked to his closet and grabbed whatever he saw first. It didn’t matter. Why would it? Only the other Sides saw him and they all had the same face. It wasn’t logical to worry over something such as appearance. He put on his new clothes and exited his room. If he was in a new part of the mindscape, he might as well explore it.

He entered the commons and ignored the two Sides as he passed them. He huffed when Patton cheerfully greeted him and told him when lunch was. He’d go, but only so he didn’t need to cook for himself. Why should he when Patton offered to do the work for him?

At lunch, he sat at the table and ignored Roman disgruntled complaints. The pain in his chest sharpened and he winced. He pushed down the ominous feeling that always accompanied the pain and ate his sandwich.

“Have you settled in well?” Patton asked.

Apathy looked up and offered a nod. He wasn’t in the mood for speaking. He denied the frustration he felt building up as the pain lingered. He ignored the pang of pain resulting from Patton’s small sigh of disappointment.

Patton reached across the table and gripped his hand, “I get change can be hard.”

Apathy yanked his hand back, “It’s simple unless your emotions cause you to walk around sniveling about it.”

Patton frowned and pulled his hand back. He quietly returned to eating, disheartened by Apathy’s words. Patton glanced up at Roman when the latter placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Patton offered him a small smile and wiped his eyes.

“You vile monster!” Roman growled at Apathy.

“Now, kiddo-”

“No, Patton! I cannot allow Apathy to treat you with such distaste!”

Apathy looked up at Patton and took note of the tears in Patton’s eyes. He felt something strange - _bad_ -wash over him. His chest throbbed, unlike any other pain he’d experienced since he’d joined the Light Sides. He stood from the table and left Patton to deal with the prince’s annoying shouts. 

* * *

 Two weeks into his stay and the pain remained. The pain grew and spread from his heart and knotted his stomach. Apathy would never admit it to his new roommates, but he was afraid.

Apathy spent his days curled up under the covers of his bed as he waited for the pain to subside. With no other way to occupy his thoughts, he often found his mind drifting to the other Sides. The more he thought of them, the more the pain grew. Roman was always first, with his protective stance and hate-filled eyes. Next came Patton and his refusal to be anything but kind to Apathy. When he finished focusing on Patton, his mind moved on to Deceit’s fury. The pain always spiked after Deceit.

Part of him wished he could take back the causation of Deceit’s fury. Apathy didn’t understand it, but every time the pain spiked, he wished to undo his treatment of Anxiety. The pain was always worst when Apathy thought of Anxiety’s limp form and dull eyes. Apathy wasn’t sure why it stuck with him this time. He’d always treated Anxiety that way when he became too bothersome.

Apathy rolled over in his bed and checked the time. It was four am. Logically, he should be asleep, but his body denied him the rest. He acknowledged that if he hadn’t slept yet, he wouldn’t tonight. Thomas had to get up for school soon and he’d need to be awake to help him through the day.

He waited another hour before dragging himself out of bed and to the bathroom for a shower. It was getting close to Thomas waking up and that meant the other Sides would be getting up soon as well. Apathy locked the bathroom door and got into the shower.

After a while, a fist banged on the door, “Apathy, hurry up!”

It was Roman. The ridiculous prince liked to shower first thing in the morning, as part of some beauty routine. Apathy didn’t care. He turned up the water’s heat and closed his eyes, relaxing as the water poured over him. It helped the constant pain in his chest, so he wasn’t coming out anytime soon.

“Come on, kiddo. Roman needs to shower too,” Patton knocked on the door.

In the time Apathy stayed with the Light Sides, Patton’s kind nature never swayed. Never once had Patton snapped at him, no matter what Apathy did. Apathy found it odd but knew to use it to his advantage. He didn’t miss the way Patton’s cheeks tended to turn pink whenever they interacted. Feelings. Bane of his existence. Although, in this case, they could serve a purpose. (He didn’t observe similar reactions in himself. _Never_.)

Eventually, Apathy turned off the water and got out of the shower. He threw on his worn-out jeans and an old black t-shirt with frayed edges. He’d replace them when needed, but for now, they worked. He placed his dirty clothes and towel into the hamper and exited the bathroom.

As soon as he stepped out, Roman rushed in and slammed the door. Apathy heard the click of the lock and rolled his eyes.

“Do you want anything for breakfast?” Patton asked him.

Apathy bit his lip when he looked to Patton. Normally, he’d say whatever, but not today. Today, he had the oddest sensation telling him he wanted toast. It had nothing to do with the jam sitting in the fridge. He didn’t care for it. He told Patton what he wanted and entered the commons to wait.

He glanced into the kitchen from the commons couch. Patton sang a nonsensical song to himself as he buzzed around the kitchen. The sides of Apathy’s lips curled up as he watched Patton. The pain in his chest dimmed and replaced itself with a soft warmth. Apathy didn't notice, eyes focused on Patton.

“What’s made you so happy, Apathy?” Roman hissed as he entered.

Apathy’s head snapped in Roman’s direction and the warmth grew harsh and painful. Apathy glared at Roman. The warmth spread and heated his face. The sensation reminded Apathy of flames.

“I do not experience such emotions, Creativity,” he reminded.

“Because you weren’t just off in la-la land grinning like a fool,” Roman retorted. “Stay away from Patton.”

Apathy hissed, “I’ll do as I deem fit.”

Apathy didn’t fail to notice the sword Roman had on him. Roman almost always had it on him now, Apathy hadn’t seen him without it since his arrival. Apathy raised an eyebrow as Roman rested his hand on the hilt.

“We’re both aware how Patton will feel about you swinging that,” Apathy reminded.

Roman dropped his hand from the sword and looked to the kitchen. Patton was placing the food on the table, unaware of the confrontation. Roman faced Apathy again with a puzzled expression.

“Breakfast is ready, kiddos!” Patton chimed.

Apathy stood from the couch and entered the kitchen with Roman trailing behind him. A chill shot up Apathy’s spine as he walked. He couldn’t see what Roman was doing. Roman could draw his sword to attack and Apathy wouldn’t know until it was too late.

“You okay, kiddo?” Patton questioned.

Apathy sat at the table, “Of course.”

Apathy served himself and made sure he grabbed the jam jar before Roman had the chance. Roman groaned as he waited and tapped his fingers on the table. Apathy scooped out a large amount and spread it out on his toast before he passed it to Roman.

“Leave any for the rest of us, Spock?” Roman eyed the inside of the jar.

Apathy shrugged and bit into his toast. He smiled as he tasted the jam, a warm feeling settling in his chest. He noted his lower pain level, despite how it kept him awake the night before. Whatever ailed him must be passing. He felt oddly _good_.

When he finished his plate, Apathy stood from the table. He ignored the strange sensation in his head and put his plate in the sink. He regretted his ignorance moments later as he clutched the counter for support. Nausea crept up his throat and he swallowed thickly. His muscles tensed as he made himself stay up. His vision faded in and out as his ears registered sound coming from far away. His vision faded out as something pressed against his back. 

* * *

 

He woke up alone, tucked into his bed. He noted the change in his attire. Someone had changed him out of his day clothes and into pajamas. He guessed Patton had. Roman would never willingly help him.

Something was different. He could feel it. He felt different. He would have to ask the others what happened after his collapse. Whatever happened could play a role.

He put on his glasses. He spotted the differences in his room instantly. The room was clean, organized. The furniture changed as well. His desk no longer wooden, but sleek metal. His closet door shut without trouble and no clothing poked out of it.

He got up and opened his closet to find it filled with new clothing. His entire wardrobe replaced. He picked out a shirt and observed it. His color scheme remained dark, but much more sophisticated. Black polos replaced his old t-shirts.

He dressed and looked once more around his room. He found himself satisfied with the change. Rather than pain, he felt warmth in his chest. _Enjoyment._

There was the difference. He felt emotions. He raised a hand to his chest and looked down. The pain in his chest wasn’t physical. It was emotions. _Guilt._ He felt guilty about his actions. He could no longer be Apathy, but what was he?

He decided to go out and find Patton. The older Side may have the answer. As he shut his door, he noted the sign on his door and stopped in his tracks. The sign no longer claimed the room’s resident as “Apathy”, but as “Logic”. He knew immediately, it referred to him. The new name felt _right_.

“Logic,” he murmured.

Logic hmmed, pleased with how the word sounded.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested on Tumblr. An extra scene, referencing the interaction that led to Apathy's banishment from the dark side of Thomas' mind. The scene is through Deceit's point of view.

Deceit was _not_ worried. Anxiety was no where to be found. He’d checked all the younger dark side’s favorite hideouts. His room, their library, their control room, even under the kitchen sink! Deceit needed Anxiety’s input on the latest issue with Thomas!

The only place left unchecked . . . Deceit hoped Anxiety _was_ there. Deceit stomped off to Apathy’s room and knocked on the door. He waited, impatiently tapping his foot on the ground. Inside the room, Deceit could hear Apathy speaking and his blood boiled.

“- and you’ll stay here until you cease this useless panic,” Apathy growled.

“B-but . . .”

It was Anxiety. His voice sounded scared yet lacked any energy behind it. Deceit knew Apathy’s room was already affecting Anxiety. The room corrupted Anxiety faster than Deceit, given Anxiety’s attachment to Thomas’ emotions. Deceit _didn’t_ need to get Anxiety out immediately. A door slammed shut inside the room and a relieved sigh was heard. Deceit banged his fist against Apathy’s door.

“APATHY YOU BETTER _NOT_ OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” Deceit bellowed.

Within moments, Apathy opened the door and stood before Deceit, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. Apathy looked him up and down before raising an eyebrow.

“Deceit, what do you want?” Apathy asked, voice flat and uncaring.

Deceit shoved Apathy back and the other side fell to the ground. The oldest dark side moved past him and unlocked Apathy’s closet. He threw the door opened and looked inside. Already, he could feel the effects of the room. His anger was dying down, slowly replaced by numbness. He needed to get out.

Deceit spotted Anxiety, the youngest sitting limply on the closet floor. Deceit took him into his arms and rushed out of the room. The moment the two past the doorway, Deceit started to feel more like himself. He adjusted his hold as Anxiety let out a cry and wrapped his arms around Deceit’s neck.

“It’s _not_ okay,” Deceit shushed him. “Rest.”

Recovering from the corruption of Apathy’s room wasn’t easy for Anxiety. Most of the time, the corruption followed a panic attack, leaving Anxiety exhausted. Deceit knew better than to let Anxiety go off on his own like this.

Deceit carried Anxiety out to their commons and set him down on the couch. He covered the younger with a blanket and placed a hand on Anxiety’s forehead. Anxiety’s eyes fluttered shut and he relaxed into the couch.

Deceit felt a small bit of guilt for using his ability’s on Anxiety but knew he would only spiral into panic if Deceit left him alone right now. As the eldest dark side, Deceit was responsible for the others. He kept them in check and prevented them from causing too much trouble. Apathy was a problem. He resisted Deceit’s power too much and Deceit was honestly, sick of it.

He returned to Apathy’s room and stood in the doorway. The other was still on the floor, seeing no reason to get off the floor.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU _WEREN’T_ DOING! YOU KNOW THAT _DOESN’T_ HURT ANXIETY!” Deceit screeched at the apathetic side.

Apathy didn’t look up to acknowledge him and Deceit knew this wasn’t out of shame. He kept yelling, letting out his frustration. All the while, Deceit was trying to think of a solution. He couldn’t let this happen again. One day, he could be too late.

Deceit’s goal was self-preservation. Without Anxiety, Thomas would find himself in too much trouble for the rest of the sides to handle. He couldn’t allow Apathy’s careless actions to cost them their lives.

He finished yelling, his throat sore. He gave Apathy one last glance and slammed the door shut. He leaned against the wall outside and thought. In a moment, he knew what he would do. He reached out and placed a hand on Apathy’s door, concentrating on the light sides. Let those two deal with Apathy instead.

He closed his eyes and the door glowed. The door disappeared leaving behind smooth wall, not unlike the rest of the hallway. With that, Deceit opened his eyes and returned to the commons.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the post "https://fearfilledvirgil.tumblr.com/post/174275317994/fearfilledvirgil-so-theres-dark-side-virgil" on tumblr. Written with their permission.


End file.
